When it comes to delivering great dialogue, Marvel’s ‘merc with a mouth’ has proved time and time again that he is the best at what he does, and what he does is… deliver foul-mouthed lines. But those foul-mouthed lines are awesome and hilarious.
In this post I am taking a look at some of Deadpool’s best lines. These are lines taken from the movies: X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009), Deadpool (2016), and Deadpool 2 (2018), and showcase why DP is an expert in delivering dialogue.
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Best Deadpool movie quotes
Deadpool – “From the studio that inexplicably sewed his fucking mouth shut the first time comes five-time Academy Award viewer, Ryan Reynolds in an eHarmony date with destiny. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you… me! Deadpool.”
Deadpool (2016)
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Deadpool – “I know right? You’re probably thinking, “Whose balls did I have to fondle to get my very own movie”? I can’t tell you his name, but it rhymes with “Polverine.””
Deadpool (2016)
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Deadpool – “Time to make the chimi-fuckin’-changas.”
Deadpool (2016)
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Logan – “Oh, my God. Do you ever shut up, pal?”
Wade Wilson – “No. Not when I’m awake.”
X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009)
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Deadpool – “Zip it, Thanos!”
Deadpool 2 (2018)
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Blind Al – “Why such a douche this morning?”
Wade Wilson – “Let’s recap: the cock-thistle that turned me into this freak slipped through my arms today… arm… Catching him was my only chance to be hot again, get my super sexy ex back and prevent this shit from happening to someone else, so yeah, today was about as much fun as a sandpaper dildo.”
Deadpool (2016)
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Deadpool – “Daddy needs to express some rage.”
Deadpool (2016)
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Wade Wilson – “I had another Liam Neeson nightmare. I kidnapped his daughter and he just wasn’t having it.”
Wade Wilson – “They made three of those movies. At some point you have to wonder if he’s just a bad parent.”
Deadpool (2016)
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Deadpool – “Rules were meant to be broken.”
Colossus – “That’s the exact opposite of what they’re meant for!”
Deadpool 2 (2018)
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Cable – “Who are you?”
Wade Wilson – “I’m Batman.”
Deadpool 2 (2018)
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Deadpool – “Wait! You may be wondering, “Why the red suit?” Well, that’s so bad guys can’t see me bleed.”
Deadpool – “This guy’s got the right idea. he wore the brown pants.”
Deadpool (2016)
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Deadpool – “Good news and bad news. Bad news is the whole team is dead. The good news is I don’t think anyone is gonna miss Shatterstar, he was a bit of a prick.”
Deadpool 2 (2018)
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Wade Wilson – “I love this weapon more than any other thing in the whole wide world, and you wanna know why?”
Victor Creed – “No.”
Wade Wilson – “It’s memorable. Sure it’s a little bulky, tough to get on a plane. You whip out a couple of swords at your ex-girlfriend’s wedding, they will never, ever forget it.”
X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009)
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Deadpool – “In every film, there’s a moment when the hero hits rock bottom. In “Cool Runnings,” it was when John Candy’s prized bobsled broke. In “Human Centipede,” it was when those people signed on to be in that movie. But in this film, well, you’re looking at it. Rock, meet Bottom.”
Deadpool 2 (2018)
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Blind Al – “Love is blind, Wade.”
Deadpool – “No. You’re blind.”
Deadpool (2016)
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Cable – “Dubstep’s for pussies!”
Wade Wilson – “You’re so dark. Are you sure you’re not from the DC universe?”
Deadpool 2 (2018)
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Wade Wilson – “Your right leg is Thanksgiving and your left leg is Christmas. Can I come and visit you between the holidays?”
Deadpool (2016)
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Deadpool – “Listen Al, if I never see you again, I want you to know that I love you very much. I also buried 1,600 kilos of cocaine somewhere in the apartment – right next to the cure for blindness. Good luck.”
Deadpool (2016)
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Deadpool – “I don’t speak Cantonese, Mr…”
Deadpool – “Well, I’m not even going to attempt that. But I did take eighth grade Spanish, so donde esta la biblioteca? Which literally translates to: I don’t bargain, pumpkin-fucker.”
Deadpool 2 (2018)
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Deadpool – “Okay guys, I only have twelve bullets, so you’re all going to have to share!”
Deadpool (2016)
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Colossus – “Do you have off switch?”
Deadpool – “Yeah, it’s right next to the prostate. Or is that the on switch?”
Deadpool (2016)
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Wade Wilson – “I loved her. I loved her like an ocean loves water.”
Weasel – “An ocean is water.”
Deadpool 2 (2018)
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Dopinder – “That’s, uh, $27.50.”
Deadpool – “I… I never carry a wallet when I’m working. Ruins the lines of my suit.”
Dopinder – “Oh.”
Deadpool – “But, uh, how about a crisp high five?”
Deadpool (2016)
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Black Tom – “I’m Black Tom Cassidy.”
Wade Wilson – “White Wade Wilson.”
Deadpool 2 (2018)
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Deadpool – “Goddammit! I’m gonna do this the old-fashioned way: with two swords, and maximum effort.”
Deadpool (2016)
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Blind Al – “Am I crazy, or is your hand really small?”
Deadpool – “About the size of a KFC spork.”
Deadpool (2016)
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And finally…
Deadpool – “I know what you’re thinking: “I’m so glad I left the kiddos at home.” But that’s where you’d be wrong. That babysitter of yours is high as fuck right now. And believe it or not, Deadpool 2 is a family film. True story. And every big family film starts… with a vicious murder. Bambi, The Lion King, Saw 7.”
Deadpool 2 (2018)
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Thank you for taking the time to read this post about the best Deadpool movie quotes. For more Marvel-related content, be sure to check out the recommended reads below.
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